Mocking The “Taxpayer Protection Act”

Last week I had a little fun with my colleagues on the County Commission. You see Commissioners Stebbins, O’Malley, and De La Cruz are hell bent on raising the cost of utilities for every county resident and have decided to name their tax grab the “Taxpayer Protection Act.”

[Side Bar]
No kidding! An ordinance that would take more money out of your pockets is somehow supposed to “protect” you. At least when the mob extorts protection money from you they provide protection you from them. 

Somewhere George Orwell and Ayn Rand are laughing their posteriors off watching their predictions come true.
[End Sidebar] 

Commissioner Stebbins noted that I had named a resolution the “Ratepayer Protection Act” last year – which is true. The difference is that the “Ratepayer Protection Act” actually protected ratepayers by prohibiting the county from reaching into their pockets – something the “Taxpayer Protection Act” most certainly does not.

Having a background in journalism, I decided to come up with a name that would be more accurate. And since the “Taxpayer Protection Act” does nothing of the sort, it seemed appropriate to come up with at least ten possible names and here they are:

Top Ten More Accurate Names for the “Taxpayer ‘Protection’ Act.”
10. The… Protection Money Act
9. The… We Need More Money Act
8. The… Bernalillo County Utility Tax Collection Act
7. The…  Illegal Revenue Enhancement Act
6. The… It’s not legal but we hope the Legislature will make it legal someday so we always put it on our legislative agenda Act.
5. The… Commission Can’t Live Within Its $250 MILLION a Year Means Act
4. The… It’s Not Our Land But We’ll Tax You Again for it Anyway Act
3. The… Ratepayer Screw Job
2. The… Soak the Poor Act
1. The… We Know You Can’t Live Without Water, Power, and Electric So We Know You’ll Pay Act

You can read more about the evening’s discussion in the Albuquerque Journal (read it here – subscription).